I enjoy San Francisco because it's about as close as I can get to New York City while being on the west coast. It's amazing the kind of clarity I find walking the streets, people watching, taking it all in. There's something incredibly rejuvenating about it. The last time I felt this way I was in Paris, practicing my rusty high school French, enjoying baguettes, and climbing the steps of the Eiffel Tower. I find that I am happiest exploring a new place, guidebook in hand, trying to figure out the public transportation system or navigating the busy streets. Being in a city I know relatively well, exploring new neighborhoods or just walking the streets provides the same feeling. It wasn't until I was heading down I-80 toward San Francisco today that I realized that I had been living my life for the last seven weeks in a half mile radius. My current service project is about two blocks away from where I live, so the scenery has been a bit lacking to say the least. I had been feeling particularly restless lately and I couldn't quite figure out why. Then it hit me: I had been looking at the same buildings and the same people for weeks. I was in need of a break. And San Francisco was the staycation of choice.
I was walking down the rather seedy part of Market Street, taking in the sights and sounds of the city when I happened across this man asking for change. Well, not so much asking as standing next to the BART station with an empty Starbucks cup muttering to himself. I heard him say, "It's not the sky that's falling, it's us that's falling." I thought about it for a few minutes and I realized he was right. There have been times in the past, even in the past few weeks, when I felt like the world was closing in around me and there was nothing I could do about it, that they sky was literally falling and the ground was closing in around me. But the sky isn't going anywhere. The sky is in the same place every day, it's the people that are changing, going through ups and downs. So moral of the story: even when you feel like the sky is falling, remember that it's you that's changing and that, good day or bad, the sky will be in the same place. It's actually kind of comforting if you think about it.
After passing this rather wise change-seeking gentleman, I had a bit of a revelation. (Who knew one could find clarity in the midst of the tobacco shops and strip clubs?) While I had been counting the days until my project was over (long story), I had also been dreading the day that I would be re-integrated into office life since it seemed that my friends who were still working in the office were not necessarily in a "happy place." I sympathize completely. I had a rough couple of months between December and February. Due to lots of things both in and out of my control, I was pretty unhappy in my job. In February, I took a trip to Paris. In Paris, I felt that I had found my "happy place." I was able to reconnect with the world, travel, explore, learn, and experience. I was able to do the one thing that makes me the happiest. That feeling snuck it's way into my carry on and has carried over into my life here in Sacramento. I felt that I found my stride at work, which was a nice feeling. In my apprehension about returning to an unhappy work environment, I needed to find that "happy place" again. I had this moment tonight, walking down Market, looking at all of the once grand theaters-turned strip clubs, attempting to imagine this bustling street in its former glory as a cultural hub of the city, where this thought hit me like a ton of bricks: It's time to reconnect with what makes you happy. Simple as that. Where is my "happy place"? And how can I bring a little piece of that to work with me every day? How can I reconnect with what makes me happy?
