Resolve to Be Resolute

I looked up the word resolution in the dictionary and found a lot of what I expected to find. According to dictionary.com, resolution means  "a formal expression of opinion or intention made, a resolve or determination." The part of the definition that really stuck with me is "the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose." I also really like the definition of the word resolute, "admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering." I like that even better than the word resolution. So instead of making resolutions, let's resolve to be resolute shall we?

Like I said in my last post, to make a resolution to blog every day or even go to the gym half as often is silly and just plain naive. I know I wouldn't be fooling anyone if I made such sweeping general resolutions. So I'm choosing not to. I've looked at the coming of 2012 (and hopefully not the coming of the end of the world as Hollywood and Harold Camping might have us believe...fingers crossed) as more of a time for reflection. On the nightly news the other day, they listed a whole slew of reasons why we should be happy that 2011 is on the outs and that we can wash our hands of the whole thing. Sure the economy stinks, people were occupying every which way, and terrible tragedies happened in the world. But I'd like to argue that there was a lot of good stuff too. Many of my friends and family celebrated weddings and babies, new houses and new jobs. I'm sure they are all thrilled with 2011 as a result. 

While I didn't celebrate any of those life events, I was able to look back on some pretty incredible things and, overall, am pretty happy with 2011. As far as years go, it was a good one. So instead of spouting out a list of all of the wonderful things I may (or may not, come on let's be honest) do, I'm going to use this coming of a new year as an opportunity to reflect and celebrate some of the amazing things I did do. 

Here's the top 11 of 2011 (in no particular order).

1. Moved to California. Visited Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana, Utah, and Wyoming. 43 states down, 7 to go. I imagine the illusive North Dakota is going to be a challenge...  
2. Fell in love with 30 third graders while tutoring in inner city Los Angeles. 
3. Survived a literal shit storm. Also in Los Angeles. (I've heard people use the term shit storm to describe other things.  If you want to know what it's like to survive an actual shit storm, let me know.)
4. Stuck my toes in the Pacific Ocean. Many times. 
5. Learned more about organic farming than I ever thought I would learn from two of the coolest farmers ever. 
6. Decided not to go to Mississippi, but applied again and was accepted to Teach for America. This time to teach early childhood education in Baltimore. Quite literally a dream come true. 
7. Spent the summer working as a camp counselor for children, teens, and adults with physical and cognitive disabilities. While the initial thought of it made me more nervous than I'd like to admit, it was by far the most challenging, rewarding, hilarious, and humbling job I will ever have. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat. 
8. Drove the Pacific Coastal Highway. Well part of it anyway. Still counts. 
9. Selected for Fire Management Team to be certified as a wild land firefighter. I slightly regretted not applying last year and after being out of the boys club/military life for so long, I wondered if I could do it. Turns out, I still can. I may or may not have been pretty impressed with myself for finishing the pack test (3 mile power walk with a 40 pound pack on, a requirement for all Forest Service firefighters), thinking to myself (Or saying out loud. Whatever.), "Look! I can still be a bad ass!" It was quite an exciting moment. I'd like to think I'm more of a bad ass now than I ever was during those days. 
10. Bought a plane ticket to Paris for the big birthday. This hasn't actually happened yet, but the ticket has been purchased which makes it pretty much official. 
11. Spent 10 months (with a little overlap into 2010, but who's counting) with 10 of the most incredible human beings that I've ever had the pleasure to meet. Serving as a Support Team Leader with AmeriCorps NCCC this year, I have the chance to reflect on my experience as a Field Team Leader daily. Every time a Field Team Leader asks me, "Did you ever run into...?" or "How did you handle...?" I am able to think back on my experience. How did I handle that? Would I do it differently this time around? Are my Corps Members better for the things I did or didn't do? I am very fortunate that so much reflection for last year is built into my job this year. I know I wasn't the perfect Team Leader and we were by no means the perfect team (sorry to burst your bubble, Blue 3). Nothing about the experience was perfect (nothing is), but it was perfect for me. Perfect for us. It was the perfect experience to learn, to grow, to challenge my own beliefs, to challenge my own fears and prejudices, to do things I never imagined I could do or would ever have to do. But I did them and I'm a better person for it. And I'd like to think that my team is better for it too. I saw each of them grow in ways they probably don't even realize yet. And I'll be excited for them when those realizations happen. I just hope, in some small way, that I get to be a part of it. I know that I may get a team this year be it a composite team or otherwise and as I told one of my teammates just yesterday, "You guys were a difficult act to follow so this year really didn't stand a chance." True story.

So while the general consensus seems to be that 2011 couldn't leave soon enough, I'd like to offer a counter opinion and say, "Thanks 2011. It's been real."