Today we dropped my little sister off for her freshman year
of college. It was a whirlwind of emotion for everyone involved. Even my
sister, a self proclaimed sociopath with no emotion (I recommended that she not
open with that when introducing herself to people on campus), broke down a
couple of times at the thought of being separated from all of her high school
friends, of moving away from home for the first time, and the overwhelming
possibilities that lie ahead. All in
all, she is a well-adjusted kid, smart and sociable, with a heart of gold. I
have absolutely no worries about her ability to be successful both in college
and in life. (We always make jokes that my younger brother, on the other hand,
is a different story. I'm about 93% sure
that he's going to be fine.) And she's only attending college two hours away
from home so it will be easy for her to get home whenever she wants. This reminded
me of the 150 freshmen that, in three short weeks, will be boarding a plane
headed for Greece, their first semester of college, and the great unknown and
the parents that would be dropping them off not on campus, but at an airport in
the States. (The fact that I am largely responsible for these 150 17 and 18 year
olds embarking on their first semester of college in a foreign country hasn't
escaped me .)
Watching all of these parents and first time college kids
interact, got me thinking about what I'd like to have said to my own parents in
that situation and to all of the parents entrusting me (and 8 other staff
members) with their babies this fall.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Congratulations! The day has arrived! You did it! I'm off to
college!
At graduation, I
received all of these words of congratulations, but I'd like to congratulate you. You made it! Yes, I'm the one who
earned the grades, spent hours at after school activities, and submitted the college
applications, but I couldn't have done it without your help. You taught me the
value of hard work, the difference between right and wrong, and the power of
kindness. And for that I am grateful.
But now comes the hard part... moving out for the first
time, trusting me to make the right choices, and helping me learn from those choices
even when I don't always make the right ones.
Now I'll always be your kid, but the thing is, I'm not a
kid. I'm an adult. Or at least I'm trying to figure out how to be one. And
while it will be difficult for both of us, you have to let me figure things out
even if that means I stumble a bit. When you say, "Don't forget to pack
your jacket," I hear, "I don't trust you to pack for yourself."
What you're actually saying is, "I checked the weather and I don't want
you to be cold." When you say, "Be careful" every time I leave
the house, I hear, "I have irrational fears about your safety." What
you're actually saying is, "I'm your mom and I worry about you. And that
doesn't stop just because you're 18." When you do things for me that I
need to figure out how to do for myself, I hear, "I don't trust you to do
this yourself." What you're actually saying is, "I'm just trying to
help." Even though it's not always easy, I guess we both could do better
at saying we mean and really listening to each other.
So the time has come. You taught me to fly and I'm ready to
leave the nest. But remember, even though I'm moving to my own nest soon, your
nest will always be home.
Love,
Your College Freshman
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