Pick on Someone Your Own Size

This week proved to be an interesting dynamic in our little group. We had a group of five ladies. One was mostly non-verbal. She said a few words, including her own name (which by the way was adorable). When she was upset, she would let out this screech that would get progressively louder the more upset that she was. A couple of our ladies were especially bothered by this sound and chose to voice their opinions about it every chance they got. It didn't matter how many times we explained that sometimes people express their frustrations differently, even if it was something they could cognitively comprehend, a couple of them continued to yell at her and holler at her to stop, thus increasing the noise level significantly and making it that much more stressful for everyone involved. This happened multiple times each day and each time the ladies irritated by the screaming became a bit meaner with their hollering back and their comments. I felt the need to defend our non-verbal friend and  they noticed it. One of them even said to me, "Sure, go ahead and stand up for her." I simply said, "Of course I will stand up for her. And I'd do it for anyone of you, too." It got harder and harder for me to hear these other women yell at her when I knew she couldn't defend herself.

It got me thinking about bullying among people with special needs. I am sure that many people with special needs know bullies all to well be they classmates, co workers, or heaven forbid even impatient family members. But at camp I've also seen them bully their own. Someone who is higher functioning will take it upon themselves to make fun of, harass  yell at, or even physically harm someone who they perceive to be weaker or lower functioning than themselves. I would like to think that if someone knows what it feels like to be bullied, then they wouldn't then be the bully. But I can also imagine that many people with special needs hear these unkind words all of the time so it seems only natural for them to repeat it to someone doing something they don't appreciate or understand. So I suppose it starts with those that interact with people with special needs. If they don't hear those words used against them, then they are much less likely to repeat them.